Baby Beauty Pageants

Last year I started watching a show on TLC called Toddler and Tiaras. There were only a couple episodes and I guess the ratings were good bc they brought it back for another season. I will have to admit I love watching it. Not bc I love pageants, just bc I like to see which kids actually enjoy being in the pageants. People always whine and complain and say that its horrible to dress your child up and make them walk around like puppets. I dont really see too many little girls complain. Yea some of them complain, but dont kids that have to go to softball and gymnastics also complain and sometimes they want to quit.

I think they go a little overboard with the "glitz" pageant. I dont like the fact that the parents are making it seem like there children are not pretty enough to compete. They have to put on fat hair, teeth, eyelashes, spray tans, tons of makeup and then prance around. Why cant we just teach our children that your beautiful the way you are.

I also hate it when I watch the show and the parents keep making there kids practice over and over again, while the kid is obviously exhausted and ready to go play. Then they sit in there interview chair and say " When she has had enough practice, I let her take a break and stop for a while" they lie right to the camera. Some "stage moms" are a little extreme and go overboard with everything they do. I wonder what message they are sending to there children.

I would love to have a little girl and show her off to the world! I wouldnt want to change the way she looks though. I think they are making these girls look way to grown up and that can be a bad thing in my opinion.

These cute-creepy pageant photos can make you to from ooooh to yuk in seconds! They look like mini-adults, preciously "sexualized", fit to a tee for a perverts "wet dream". I have given them the name of prosti-tot barbies. They are dressed up to walk around for people to look at and if they win there parents get all the money and goods. They look happy, but we all know there overweight mothers are behind it all. Havent parents learned anything from Jon bennet? From watching the show the kids were always crushed from not winning even though most of them didnt understand what they were even winning. When your 5 the concept of a beauty pageant can be a bit blurry. Most of the little girls wanted a sash or crown bc thats what there moms wanted.

Shannan

Potty Break!!

I've always had a small bladder, I would go to the bathroom all the time at night. I never thought it could get any worse! Boy was I wrong! In a 24 hour period I probably use the bathroom 20 times. Sometimes I have the urge to pee and I don't do much & other times I don't feel a thing until I stand up and then I am about to pee my pants!!

I don't really mind the bathroom trips when I am home ( except in the night bc I really want to sleep!) my bathroom is on the same floor as the bedroom and front room so I am not having to go up and down stairs all day long. I have joked with my husband that I am going to put a bucket by the bed and just pee in there until I have the baby ( it may sound gross, but I am very close to doing it) Every time I lay down I have to get right back up again to pee. Its kind of like "breaking the seal". I was always the one who got drunk the fastest and broke the seal the quickest. It was a curse!

What I hate more than anything is when I am in public and I need to use the bathroom. I have always hated using public restrooms and I used to hold it as long as I could till I got home. I am a public toilet seat hovering weirdo! I love the potty protectors, but most places quit carrying them. I haven't done so well with the hovering process since I have to hover with an extra 50 pounds now! I hate thinking about who's ass was on the toilet seat before mine! Now that I use the bathroom in public a thousand times more than before I am coming in contact with alot of asses in one day!

I am usually pretty quick, but it still feels like an ass hand shake. I have to do it, its quick, painless, but you cant help but wonder where that hand has been! I would give anything to have a catheter in at all times. Just to help me enjoy this pregnancy a little more. As I have said in previous posts. I am at my breaking point and the annoyance has begun. I am a hormonal, complaining, Wendy whiner( as my husband likes to call me). I am so ready for this little guy to make his debut into the world. I know its not safe and he will come out when he is ready blah blah blah. I am just tired of carrying him around in my belly! I have forgotten whats its like to breath and to be comfortable.

Something else I would like to add- Tim and I were sitting on the couch watching TV last night. I saw him get up right when I did. It was obvious that it was time for another potty break and I knew he was thinking the same thing in his head. So was he kind and let his 8 month pregnant wife who can't hold her pee in go first? NO!! He ran to the bathroom as fast as he could so that he could go first! How wrong is that? Sure it was a little funny, but that just shows you I get no mercy around here from him. If he does that little stunt again I wont be so nice! He did rub my back for like 3 minutes last night though. It may have been longer, but he it was possibly the worst back rub of my life. He said it was a "deep tissue massage" I know he was thinking that if he sucked I would tell him to stop. Oh that husband of mine! He thinks hes so clever!

So here's to 6 more weeks of ass hand shakes! Lets just pray I don't catch something that could harm the baby.

Shannan

I am finally under the 50 day mark of my pregnancy, actually i'm close to being under the 40 day mark. I couldnt be happier. I am so excited to see if Carson looks more like me or his daddy, if he has blonde or brown hair and what color his eyes will be!! I am ready to be a mom and experience all the sleepless nights! To be honest I am so over being pregnant! I have been pregnant for so long and I am now getting to the miserable stage. I am very emotional and sick of feeling so tired and out of breath. I am beyond lazy right now and I hate it! I want to clean like crazy and organize the house, but I have no energy to do it. I cant even get the strength to run to walmart to get more apple juice ( my new obsession). So I thought it would be cool to see who has more rough than we do when it comes to pregnancy. I know some animals are pregnant for a very long time!



African Elephant- 640 days!! -I would adopt
Giraffe-425 days
Camel-406 days
Seal- 350 days

I guess these are all very big animals and they need all the time they can get, but thats crazy!! I would lose my mind. I am already going crazy!

I also looked up the lucky ones....

Opossum- 13 days
Hamster- 16 days
Rats and Mouse- 21 days
Rabbit- 32 days

I am pretty jealous! I am sure that every woman goes through the depression stage at the end of there pregnancy. Its hard to carry around all this weight and give up your regular activities for 9 months!!


Hurry up Carson!!

Shannan

Renaming Pregnancy Terms

The last 8 months I have been trying to educate myself on my pregnancy and labor itself. I have read a ton of books and researched just about everything there is to know! Now that I am nearing the end of my pregnancy my books have become a little more detailed and somewhat gross. I have learned some new terms that I would have preferred never learning or hearing! The scariest part about learning these new terms is the fact that it will most likely happen to me! So for the sake of the last month in a half of my pregnancy I will be renaming them. I know Tim would appreciate this!!





Gross Pregnancy Term to ban #1



The Bloody Show



This term really freaked me out! I hate the sight of blood and thinking of having a "Bloody Show" terrifies me! Now if you have no clue what the bloody show is I can explain a little, but if you want the proper explanation then google it. It is suppose to be a small amount of blood that comes out of the vagina and is a sign that labor is going to start soon. The reason this happen is for the vagina to change shape and make room for the mucous plug to fall out ( I will get to that later). Now when they say "small amount" I am wondering how small of an amount we are talking here. It couldn't be that small if its considered a show!



If I wanted to see a bloody show I would rent a scary movie! When I think of the "bloody show" I imagine a pool of blood and I see Tim screaming and running for gloves, towels, buckets and mops. So I decided to rename this lovely term to "Red Light" Because you have to stop at the red light and be cautious before you proceed. I would much rather yell " Tim I think we have a red light, lets call the Dr."





Gross Pregnancy Term to Ban #2







The Mucous Plug




I have had some pretty gross mental pictures of this so called Mucous plug and it makes me gag everytime! So after the "Red Light" occurs the mucous plug will just fall out I guess and then there is nothing stopping the baby from making his way down the hole.



I get a really disgusting mental picture when I think of this mucous plug I imagine getting out of the shower and just seeing this bloody green ball of slime just plop out of my vagina and kind of jump around the house. Like Flubber (remember that Robin Williams movie?) except with the blood. I then see Tim chasing the plug around the house until he finally is able to get it out the door! Yes I imagine my mucous plug to unplug itself and run away! I know I have a great imagination.



So I have renamed this to be called "The Internal Cork" bc when I think of a cork I see wine,champagne and think of party's and celebrations! It wont sound so gross when I yell "Tim, my internal cork just popped, lets get this party started!!"





Gross Pregnancy Term to Ban #3



Lightening crotch



Now I am not sure if anyone has experienced this, I have already had the pleasure and it really feels uncomfortable. I would describe it as an electrocuting feeling in the crotch area. I am not really sure why we get this. I have heard that it is your body preparing for the baby to come out. I don't really go around saying "ouch that darn lightening crotch" I do however say "damn my vagina hurts!" I know that if I would use the term tim would get the mental imagine of my vagina being hooked up to jumper cables that are attached to a car battery. You get the idea. Nobody likes to think of there private parts being tortured like that.



So from now on I will call this "Pregnant Tingles" even though it hurts It sounds like a pleasant thing. When I tell Tim I am getting the pregnant tingles again I can imagine him saying "Oh boy pregnant tingles, that's just another sign baby Carson is on his way!"



Pregnant tingles sounds very happy. I like happy terms! So throughout my pregnancy I will use the happy terms and try to forget that even though I changed the terms to something a little less gross they will probably still be gross and there is nothing I can do about it!!



My due date keeps getting closer by the minute and we are really getting the ball rolling on all the last minute things to do before Carson is here! So I will be pretty busy the next couple weeks! Sitting on the couch telling Tim what to do is exhausting!

Shannan

Crazy inventions....

I have been on pins and needles lately and I my crabby attitude is getting on my own nerves! I know the only reason I am being such a cranky bitch is bc I am 32 weeks pregnant, its hot, I am cooped up in the house, I hurt everywhere and I am ready to deliver this baby! I have been pregnant for what seems like 5 years now.

Carson has been very active lately, which is a good thing but I am starting to think I am carrying David Beckhams love child or this little boy is practicing for his debut on so you think you can dance. He is always kicking me and moving all over the place. Sometimes it feels like he will rip through my stomach like that scene from alien. I still have 8 weeks till my due date so I hope the sweet loving Shannan comes back before the end or my husband might never want another child with me again!

I havent even been doing the fun things like nesting yet. I am getting a little more cranky about things not being in there place around the house but other than that I am as lazy as ever. I have been coming across some pretty funny things lately for babys. One thing that has been driving my husband and I insane is how much hair will the baby have and what color will it be. I have dark brown hair and my hubby has bleach blonde curly hair as a baby. We do know that Carson has some hair (thanks to the amazing ultrasound we had a couple weeks ago). If our little one doesnt have a enough hair I found the perfect solution!!

Its a Baby Toupee ( I am not joking someone actually invented it and even worse people buy it!)
Your child can have that celebrity style hairdo as soon as him/her is born!

My personal favorite would have to be the Donald. I think it would make any little boy look smart and maybe it would bring him luck in becoming a millionaire! You never know!

For all you parents who hate being pee'd on heres ya go!

Its called the wee-block!

The Baby Mac!

This is an asian invnetion and I assume its intended to keep baby in place and make you very hungry!

Another asian inventions

The baby onesie mop!

I found a ton more crazy inventions but these were by far my favorite ones! I am going to start racking my brain and invent something on my own! I will let you know how that goes!

Shannan

Breastfeeding=The Best Feeding!

Everyone keeps asking me if I am getting scared about giving birth. I would lie if I said I wasn't nervous, but I am not really scared. I just want it to be over with already. I have prepared myself for labor for 8 months now and know all the things that could happen during the process.

So am I afraid of the pain I will have during labor? No I expect it

Am I afraid of being sleep deprived? No pregnancy has gotten me used to that one

Am I overwhelmed by the whole breastfeeding process and terrified I will starve my child? More than you will ever know!!!!


I have always wanted to breastfeed. It's one thing that nobody could talk me out of. Not that alot of people would want to talk me out of it, but there are alot of people in my family that think if they cant handle it maybe I cant. I dont like negativity especially on subject like this. For me its the only option there is. I would do anything that is healthy for my baby and breastfeeding is by far the healthiest choice for baby and me.

I have talked to friends and family about wanting to breastfeed and theres always mixed emotions. ( Which I could care less) I know breastfeeding is not a sure thing and theres always the possibility that you wont be able to go through with it. As I mentioned in earlier posts I have had implants and even though my dr did everything he could to make it so the implants would not interfere with the natural process, you cant always be 100% sure on that! So I am being completely honest when I say I am scared shitless when it comes down to it! I have worried more about this than anything else when it comes to the baby.

I have a list of reasons why I am so scared. The #1 reason being that I am deathly afraid that my little boy wont get enough to eat and I will be starving him! #2 even though I have told people I dont care about the pain (I truly dont I will do it no matter what) I am scared that my nipples will fall off from all the sucking and dryness that I have heard can occur!
Woman love to share there horror stories and I have heard them all. They all think just bc they couldn't handle it then I wont be able to handle it. Like I said when it comes to the health of my child I am no pansy and I will overcome the pain my nips will have to go through.

I have heard tons of stories and I am so tired of it! I try to listen with a smile but you can only fake being happy for so long and my hormones are just too strong to fight. I just recently bought "What to Expect the First Year" it has a chapter on what you can do to prepare yourself for breastfeeding. I read the first 5 pages and decided I didn't need a crash course and it should come naturally. Why you ask? Well the first 5 pages were about " Toughening up your nipples" and " the cons of breastfeeding". I understand there is a chance that my boobs will look like cracked worn out prunes ( that's what I see in my head anyways), but there is no way in hell I am going to scrub my nipples with a hard loofah everyday until they start to bleed! NO WAY! I dont even let my husband play with them in a rough manner.

Its bad enough that my belly will be saggy with stretch marks and my whole body gigantic so why do I want to ruin the last sexy thing I have left! I want my boobs to at least be decent after I breast feed!

I guess I should be too afraid of all this. Even if he doesn't latch on and there is problems I will still pump and he will get the proper nutrients he needs. Also I am so excited that a woman will burn 500 calories each time she breastfeeds for 20 minutes!! I am dying to be skinny again so I will do anything and this is something that benefits both baby and me! You cant beast that. My book says you should be feeding 8-10 times a day so that means I should burn anywhere from 4000 to 5000 calories in one day!! That without any exercise no imagine how many calories I will burn when I start going to the gym again! I am so happy about this! I have heard breastfeeding is the best diet you can be on, but I didn't know it was that good. I need to burn as many calories as I can after he is born!!

Shannan

Being reborn

My pregnancy is going pretty fast, but not as fast as I would like it to go. I have been reading alot of poems and different articles here and there on becoming a mommy. I found this one and I have to say it is a real tearjerker! I have been telling myself over and over again for the past 8 months that I will be changing. I am trying to prepare for how much I change. I know it will be a good thing. This is a quote of a book I had read and I love how she says that you will be reborn. That is the best way to describe what becoming a mommy is like. So I leave you with the quote that has had me in tears all day long! Tears of happiness that it!

“When it is time for your very first snuggle with your very own baby - savor the moment. It’s one of the most magical moments you’ll ever know and once it passes, it’s gone, never to be duplicated.

You may be weary and shaking or wired and floating as you gaze for the first time into the eyes of this tiny stranger whose heart has been beating in concert with your own for the past nine months.

Your baby knows you, your voice, your smell, and wants nothing more than to be cradled close in your arms, held snugly to your breast. Lying with your newborn, there is no pressure to perform, no words to be said, no expectations to be fulfilled. For this little while, this too-brief moment, you can finally rest and allow yourself to simply be.

The person you were, the woman who didn’t know her own strength and doubted her capacity for love is slipping away now, though it may be a while before you truly believe that she’s gone. Try to catch her eye as she leaves, and thank her for taking you this far. Everything you’d dreamed and all that you feared is behind you–and in front of you.

You’re a mommy for real now. You’re a warrior. And this is what it means to be reborn.”

-Sheri Lynch (Hello, My Name Is Mommy)"

20 shocking facts....

Maybe I missed the memo that the Pregnant Fairy left on my pillow the night Tim impregnated me. Some people say you have to experience it to believe it. I guess this is the time that saying is 100% true! I never would have believed the kinds of things that would be happening to me if I wouldn't have gone through them. Since I am nearing the end of my pregnancy I thought it would be fun to just go over the most shocking 20 things that have happened to me in the 31 weeks I have been pregnant.

Remember that in my profile I said this was an uncensored blog. I wasn't lying. I just finally found the things I would talk about that I would make uncensored! So here we go


1. I am constantly peeing and I am pretty sure I have peed my pants a couple times in the 31 weeks i've been pregnant. Sometimes I cant even tell if I have to pee and when I laugh to hard I kind of just "leak out". I am not ashamed bc there is really nothing I can do about it and I am sure that I will do it again before my 9 weeks are up! ( for everyone that hasn't experienced pregnancy before don't worry bc this is something that just started recently and I am pretty sure its just bc my little boy is sitting right on my bladder just kicking away. There may be hope for you to keep your panties dry!)

2. Sex....whats that again? Sex happens around here almost as much as someone wins the lottery. It doesn't happen very often that's for sure! I wish that I could say that we have hot, steamy, sexy, passionate sex every single night, but that would be a huge lie.

3.Laziness has become my middle name. But so has sleep, nap, do-nothing, relax, and chill out.

4.Most maternity clothes are as flattering as me wearing a Snuggie everywhere I go. ( I understand theres alot of cute clothes out there, but I have a baby to spend money on so my wardrobe is lacking)

5.I have pimples everywhere. They only come out when its time for me to finally get out of the house and when they do its like I am 15 years old again! I have pimples on my chest, back, face, neck. I probably have them on my butt cheeks but I cant see to even notice if I do or not.

6.I have noticed that my pretty pink nipples now resemble pepperoni slices. If my husband had a food fetish we would probably be able to fix number 2 on this list.

7. My dreams are crazy. Sometimes I think someone slipped me some acid. I have the most realistic nightmares, sex dreams ( involving people like Conan O' Brien... ewww), being attacked by monster animals, having my baby anywhere but the hospital and the list goes on and on.

8. I am lacking in the hygiene department. I let my hair get greasy ( which happens really fast when your pregnant), I wear the same clothes two days in a row, I only shave my legs when they finally start to itch and look black from all the hair and sometimes I wait till about 2:00 to finally brush my teeth ( I tell no lies). At least I haven't wore the same underwear two days in a row. I do still have 9 weeks though...

9. I have a weapon that should be used to fight wars and end crime. We could finally have world peace. That weapon is gas. My farts are excruciatingly painful to my husband and could burn the hair in your nostrils. It doesn't matter what I eat, you would think I eat Mexican food on a daily basis.

10.I get out of breath just by changing the channel on the TV with the remote. I dread the stairs. I am so happy I only have 3 steps to my downstairs bc I would never get laundry done if there were more. I sound like a wheezing child who is having an asthma attack when I do anything strenuous. By strenuous I mean loading the dishwasher.

11. Ugh...migraines No need to explain this one.

12. I have lost my ankles and I am not sure where to start looking


13. Stretch marks are not pretty, you are in denial if you think that just bc you got them while pregnant then they are beautiful. Theres nothing pretty about red stretched skin on what will be a flabby platform after the baby arrives.

14. When people see a pregnant woman they assume that she would like to here that you were in labor for 40 hours, or that you tore all the way to your butthole, or how sex has never been the same since, or that the epidural didn't work and you were in the worst pain of your life, or how you pooped on the table. I would rather not know nor do I care!!

15. Yahoo is a pregnant girls best friend. I don't know how many times I have used it to give me an answer to the problems that are occurring. I have thought a million times I was already in labor or that I was developing some severe problem. Hey I am just being on the safe side!

16. My hormones are prepared for battle & they will not lose so watch out.

17. I don't know what its like to have a social life. I stay in the house as much as possible and only see the sun to check the mail or take the dog outside. I am asleep by 9 or 10 and I sleep in as long as possible. Sometimes I turn down offers to do something bc I am too lazy to get ready!!

18. Not only is my belly growing, but so is everything else. My butt, arms,thighs, feet, face everything has gotten so much bigger. From a distance I look like an obese penguin ( bc of the waddling) This must be the reason I am off balanced.

19. No matter what I eat I am hungry in 30 minutes. I believe that taco bell and burger king make commercials just for me. I am obsessed with food and I actually think I have fallen in love with certain types of foods.

20. I have a super sniff that is out of this world! I smell everything whether its food in the fridge, the garbage, the cat or dog, and sometimes I think I make smells up. I am constantly yelling at Tim telling him to clean something bc its made me sick.


I hope you all got a good laugh at the things that have been happening to be in the past 31 weeks. I am sure when its all over with I will laugh too.

Shannan

31 Weeks: Baby Registry Stalker

So my baby shower is about 2 weeks away. I am so excited and I wish it would just get here already!! I have been a little nervous that I wont get what I need and that we will be spending a fortune on baby stuff.


So I registered at 2 different places walmart and target. I didn't register for much just what we really needed and a couple extras. I decided to just look up my registry and see what I registered for bc I kind of forgot. When I logged in I felt so guilty bc I saw that people already bought me stuff. Not as much as I would have liked only like 3 things or so. It still was an adrenaline rush. I am officially a stalker when it comes to my registry. I check it day and night and still now changes and sometimes I get really sad! I hope people do buy from my registry bc that's the stuff we want and need. I get so irritated when people just buy what they think I want and they are so wrong!!


Technically this stuff isn't for me, its for Carson so I am not ruining any surprises....
So I have 2 weeks till my baby shower and not much is bought I am getting a little worried!! I think that its times like this when you see who your true friends are. I am not a bitch at all. I am a very loving person, I am always at housewarming parties, bridal showers, baby showers, anything I am invited to I go to and I always buy great gifts. I pride myself in being the best gift giver!! So if my friends and family don't show up for my shower they will be in some serious trouble!! I know its horrible to think like this, I expect all of them to show up. I can't help it I am having these crazy hormone fits and all I do is bitch about what might happen.

Not too much longer and I wont have to worry about all of this stuff! My baby boy will be here before I know it. I am feeling more pregnant than ever and my mood swings, cravings and crying fits are getting worse every day.

I decided to make beef chow mien the other day. I was at walmart buying my grocery's and I tried to get ahold of my grandma to get the recipe, but she wasn't answering her phone. So I just bought the premade chow mien thinking it would be good. I even got some egg rolls. Well I started to cooking and it really didn't smell good. I figured it was my pregnancy nose bc smells are alot different to me now.I realized I didn't have any noodles!! So I improvised and made some ramen noodles and just mixed it all together. I thought it looked good...then I took a bite and immediately became sick to my stomach. I still sat it on the table hoping my husband would like it bc I tend to make bad dinners so I hate it when he doesn't like my meals. He couldn't eat it either and we ended up eating pizza...Well I was so upset that my chow mien sucked and I cried like a little baby. I mean I was bawling and I couldn't calm down even when my husband was enjoying his pizza. Its funny to look back on now. I just cant believe how emotional I got over some nasty chow mien


Pregnancy sure is fun!

Shannan

Mexican food and pregnancy dont mix

I don't think I have had too many cravings throughout my pregnancy. The biggest craving I have had is Mountain dew voltage. Its the new blue mountain dew that tastes like raspberry's. I was in love with it for months and then I just started drinking regular mountain dew. Taco Bells mountain dew was the best. I know how weird that sounds bc you would think that its just normal mt. dew that you can buy from any store. I am not so sure about this, actually I am almost 100% convinced they have put crack in the mountain dew bc I have been so addicted. Sadly I have not had any mt dew products for over 2 weeks, I am giving my love up so that I wont keep gaining extra unnecessary weight. I still have 2 months left and I am terrified of gaining any more.


Another thing that I have wanted is Mexican food. I love burritos and chips and salsa!! It makes me very happy and I want it all the time. Along with Buffalo Wild Wings chicken wraps which I am also completely obsessed with! So back to the Mexican food...

My husband and I lived in Texas for about 2 years and we were very spoiled when it came to Mexican food bc there are so many amazing authentic restaurants in Texas. I mean there are alot of Mexicans around. So when we moved back we tried the local Mexican restaurants and they didn't even come close to the ones in Texas. It still doesn't keep me away though.


My hubby had the day off yesterday and I have been begging him for weeks to take me out for some Mexican cuisine. He finally caved in and said yes even though he hates the local Mexican restaurants. Of course that made me very happy bc I have been wanting it for so long! So we walk in and I notice that there is no AC on and it is hotter inside than out. It was scorching hot. Probably like 85 or 90 degrees. For a woman who is 7 months pregnant it felt like 100 degree! I was miserable as soon as we took our seats in the last booth all the way in the back. I complained a little to my husband about how hot it was but the complaining got alot worse when they brought out the chips and salsa. The salsa had no flavor and no amount of salt could help it either and the chips were very stale. I begged him to leave bc I wanted out of that place. He wouldn't let me leave bc I had been wanting this for so long and he kept telling me well maybe the food will be better.

So we get our entrees and it was worse than I thought. It was just a plate of nasty beans and rice and my taco were soggy. Everything tasted bad! So we left with me being very unhappy and I am actually surprised I made it home in one piece. I had the worst stomach pains on the way home and I even warned my husband that if he didn't hurry it up he will be sorry. I was sick most of the night and my love for Mexican food is ruined. I guess that just leaves Bdubs for the rest of my pregnancy. Its crazy how much your body changes during pregnancy. I never had a problem eating anything before and now its the complete opposite.

If I eat just a little bit a cheese I am constipated for what feels like a week, if I eat something spicy I am on the toilet the rest of the night. No matter what I eat I have heartburn all day long. It will be a relief when I don't have to worry about it anymore. It doesn't keep me away from my cravings though. Theres not much I have craved but the one things I do crave I eat all the time. I don't want anything else. Its kind of weird bc you would think I would be sick of the same stuff, but I'm not. I am just so irritated at this place for ruining my week to go where I want to go eat. Whats even worse is that my husband kept saying "I told you so" and " we should have had chinese". It was very annoying....

I have a dr apt tomorrow! Cant wait to see how much I have gained in just 2 weeks. Feels like 10 pounds! It's never ending!

Shannan

Blind Shaving....

So I haven't blogged in a couple days and I guess that because my days are very busy. They consist of laying on the couch and watching TV. I do some minor housework here and there and make it seem like it took me all day to do it when my husband asks. Not that he really cares that hes married to a lazy pregnant woman, but it makes me feel a little bit better.

So today I got some inspiration from my shower for my blog topic. I am warning you now TMI (Too Much Information for all you Internet retards out there). There's not much to hide when it comes to my pregnancy and I have no shame in anything I write. This blog might be a little over the top. If you have ever been pregnant or had a beach ball for a belly then you will understand what I am about to talk about.

So I have been struggling with shaving my legs and for the past 4 weeks I haven't shaved my thighs or my lady parts. After I finish shaving the first part of my legs I am completely exhausted and have to worry about washing my hair. I can't breath while I bend over so that is one reason I am so out of breath every time I take a shower. I decided that it was probably a good idea to try shaving my upper thighs and lady parts today, I figured it might make me look a little more appealing to my husband. I am in desperate need of some love making, but its not fun for either of us bc everything is uncomfortable ( and the thought of little carson being inside me kind of creeps out my husband). So when I started shaving my thighs I realized I cant see a thing down there!! How can you shave when you have no clue what your shaving! The worst part is that its not normal hair growth, I have hair growing everywhere and lots of it! Its bad enough that my stomach has a hair patch now, but do I really need to have extra hair! Ugh. So I honestly didn't feel like I was shaving anything, but the razors kept getting filled up. OH EM GEE!!

It was a horrible experience and needless to say I have one side of a nicely shaved leg and who knows what is going on in the private region. I couldn't see to know what it looked like. I just wonder how I am going to be able to make everything look good down there before the birth. I don't want to deliver my son looking like a woman from the amazon, but i don't want to look like my vagina got into a fight with a lawn mower either!! Why is pregnancy so humiliating. Its bad enough that my woman parts will make there spotlight debut, its even worse that I cant even prepare myself for it. It was a complete struggle today and frankly I am worn out!

At least I was able to paint my toenails. I have even been careful with my pretty pink toes bc I don't want to scratch the paint, there's not way I am going through that long process again!!

I will probably laugh really hard about all the funny and gross things that have happened during my pregnancy later. I am just not sure how I will be able to stand 10 more weeks of this! I will probably turn into a Sasquatch....

Shannan

(30 weeks) birth plan...

10 weeks to go till my due date!!

I am not officially 30 weeks until tomorrow, but I'm celebrating early because I am a very impatient person. This has been the longest 7 months of my life. I know I have never written about it on here, but my husband served in Iraq twice the first time for about 7 months then the second for 15 and that wait was a piece of cake compared to this!! I am so ready to meet my little boy!

I have a ton to do before he comes. My baby book insists on me having everything done by 36 weeks bc after that he could come at anytime and I should be prepared. I havent even ordered my diaper bag yet or gotten the nursery set up. I am starting to feel just a little stressed. I have made a to do list that I will start first thing Monday morning. I am not sure but I think nesting has kicked in. I just feel so tired I don't want to do anything but my mind is going crazy with every little thing that I need to do before Carson is here.

Also I have heard that its a good idea to write a birthing plan for you and your doctor that way there it no confusion once the time comes. So here is my official birthing plan, it did take alot of thought and I believe this one suits me the best. I actually feel safer knowing I made one

1. Stab me in the back as fast as you can with the epidural :)

2. Get the baby out of me as quick as you can

3. Celebrate! ( i was going to add in with a big tall glass of wine, but I wont be drinking for another 3 or 4 months bc of breast feeding so I will celebrate with wine then!! Or a nice tall vodka and cranberry)


So there you have it hopefully it goes as smooth as I have pictured it. I wonder when the laziness will ware off. I tried to force myself to sleep in, but my body aches to much and I couldn't do that so I enjoy just sitting around not doing anything. Ugh I am a horrible housewife. I need to get some stuff ordered online so I should be doing that soon considering everything I want takes forever to get here!

Can someone build me a time machine? I need September to get here fast!!

Shannan

A note to my baby boy

Dear Carson,


It seems like my pregnancy journey is almost over and in about 10 weeks you will finally be in my arms! I will then begin my journey into parenthood. So much is happening to me right now and I’m such an emotional mess, but there is one thing that is so definite and completely clear to me… I cannot wait to meet you. I’m so excited to see you for the first time! I wonder what parts of me and what parts of your dad you will have.


From day one of finding out I was pregnant I knew you were a boy! Your daddy thought you were a girl ( you can yell at him later about that one). The day we actually found out if you were a boy or a girl was such an emotional day. Your Daddy and I were so happy to finally call you by name and not "The baby". Saying your name always makes me smile. Even though I knew you were a boy I was still shocked, but not as shocked as your daddy was! Now I couldn't imagine you being anything other than my little boy!

Throughout my pregnancy I have wanted to be able to provide a safe place for you to grow and I know I have done a good job because by the looks of things you are one big boy! That just means your healthy! I want nothing but the best for you. I know that boys don't really like cheesy sentimental moments, but I am 7 months pregnant and like a said before an emotional mess so bare with me!

I just want you to know how much I love you and how much I mean those words when I say them. I wasn’t sure that I would ever really “come around” to saying that before meeting you, but it’s true you are always on my mind. You have no idea how much happiness I feel when you kick the crap out of my stomach. It makes me giggle each time and it’s definitely my favorite part of being pregnant.

I just want you to always be happy and healthy! I know that you are going to complete our lives. I can't wait to see the world through your eyes, watch you grow and hear you giggle! I won't get to ahead of myself because your not even born yet! I promise I will do everything I can to make sure you have the best life. Just know that your mommy loves you so much and you already bring me so much joy and happiness.


See you soon Carson

Love,

Mommy

Jon and Kate will you give it a rest!!??

I was very curious to watch Jon & Kate plus 8 last night because TLC has been showing a commercial excessively ab out how they are to announce some big changes. I had a pretty good idea of what they were going to announce, but I don't have much of a life at the moment so I was totally glued to the television at 9 last night to see what the fuss was about.

They are getting a divorce. Well if the whole freaking world didn't know that already! The weirdest thing is that they said they will take turns living in the house with the children. I thought "well that's strange". Then Kate and Jon both said that the house was the "children's" house and not there's. I think that they are trying to sound like everything they do is for the kids, but last time I checked the 5 year olds didn't need there own home and it shouldn't be called there home. Ugh I cant stand watching this show anymore. It drives me bonkers. I only watched till the divorce announcement. I was tired of them trying to sponsor some children's play house company on the show. That's really what the whole show was about. The kids even wore logo shirts from the company.

I saw a clip on TV that really had me going it was Kate and her kids getting ready for an interview. One of her older twins asked her for a drink of water. I don't think Kate realized the cameras were on the way she was using her bitchy attitude towards her children. So anyways a producer hands her some water and Late take a nice long drink and hands it back. Her daughter even says " your mean, you drank that in front of me" Kate just said be quiet. I was so mad, how childish is that! Would it have been that hard to hand her the bottle of water? Your making her do this stupid interviews!

I did see some things that made me really mad on some magazine cover talking about how Kate spanks her children and shes "abusing" her children. I am a firm believer in discipline there is nothing wrong with a smack on the butt when your child is up to know good. Why is it that people believe that its wrong to do that now after I don't know like centuries of doing it! Parents are way to easy on there children's these days and that is the number on reason we have so many horrible kids in society.

Teenagers these days do whatever they please and there parents feel that they have the right to do so. I will have my own way of parenting and it will be strict enough for my child to be taught right from wrong. I wont do it to be a mean mommy, I will do it bc I love my son and I want him to have the best possible future. Alot of people would agree on my parenting skills. Its always the parents that don't discipline that think its a bad idea. I always wonder if they take a good look at there children to realize that they are the ones that are wrong. I wont be my sons friend I will be his mommy. He will have plenty of friends in his life and he will need guidance from me more than anything.

Shannan

Well Well Well

I am have been gone for a couple days, but our computer decided it was time to call it quits so we had to get it fixed. Our old computer just couldn't keep up with me blogging! It wanted to die every time I started! I am so happy our new computer is alive and well! Now I can write! So let's see what to write about first!

I feel like I look this big...

Thank the lord that I only have one baby and not 8!!Let the venting begin..

To be honest I don't know whether I should laugh or cry when I look in the mirror every morning. I guess I do both. Pregnancy is a blessing and even though I may look like hell, I feel beautiful. Giving this child life is the most beautiful thing ever. My husband is supportive and sweet. He always tells me I am beautiful and he listens to my complaints. I know deep down he is hoping and praying that one day he will see my youthful honeymoon body again. Yeah, don't think this exists anymore but he can always hope. He would never admit it, but I think all husbands are thinking the same thing. "Please God, let her get back to norm again, but can we keep the new rack?" Just kidding. I love my husband and the way he makes me feel. He holds my hand and lets me cry on his shoulder when nothing fit's anymore. Too bad he doesn't give me a gift certificate to the mall. haha I am to the point now where this monstrous belly is even to big to wear my old sleeping shirts that use to be gigantic on me!! I went to a Dr's apt yesterday, its something I used to love doing because I always love to hear my baby's heartbeat and I like to know everything is going ok. So now I hate it! Let me explain why...

They call my name to go into this little room and I see "it". "It" Has a ton of numbers I like to remind myself that "it" always lies to me and that "it" likes to see me suffer every time I step on it and the numbers used to be low and satisfying. Now the numbers have hit a painful 190. Yes "it" would be the scale. I hate seeing it and I don't dare step on it in my home! I only wait till I go in for a check up so that why I am only depressed for one day a month. Now it will be every 2 weeks that I have to deal with it. I am so said that I have gained so much throughout this pregnancy. Never in a million years did I think I would be 10 pounds from 200. Ugh

Being pregnant sure is a funny little thing. You just don't quite feel yourself. Not only do you cry on demand, but you feel as though your body is being taken over by a little fidgeting alien. I don't think men quite get how it feels to have something constantly trying to claw its way out from the inside. I have my first birthing class tomorrow and I pray that they teach me how not to kill my husband. I am worried that I might during the delivery. My hormones are in full swing and I can turn on someone in just seconds now.

My back is killing me so I guess I am done venting for now. I wonder if my Dr would give me my epidural now?

Shannan

4th Wedding Anniversary

So yesterday my husband & I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary! Were kind of a boring couple and it doesn't take much to satisfy us so we didn't do anything to extreme we ended up going to Ruby Tuesday's which was soooo good! Anyways this was the second anniversary that we have been able to spend together the first two anniversary's the Army kept us apart. I have had a very amazing 4 years with my husband I am excited to see what the future holds for us.

I found out a couple years ago someone has made a list of gifts you were suppose to give on your wedding anniversary. A different gift each year. This year the traditional gift I was suppose to receive was fruit and flowers and my modern gift was an appliance. I did't recieve either one which is fine by me. Its odd that there is actually a list for what you should gived your spouse. Some people probably follow this list. The crazy thing is that it says a diamond is what you should recieve on your 60th!!! I am not waiting that long to recieve a diamond that is for sure!!

Shannan

The fear knocked on my door & I answered it!

I recently finished my pregnancy book and I have to say the descriptions have thoroughly scared the crap out of me. I am really, really dreading labor. Nothing about it (other than receiving my cute little baby boy) sounds at all pleasant and I don’t understand why Mother Nature has made it so difficult for women to deliver children into this world. You’d think somehow with evolution, our bodies would somehow learn to adjust and there wouldn’t be as much pain involved. Everything involved with having a child is frightful from the beginning to the aftermath.

I probably shouldn’t have read these chapters right before bed because I had hard time falling asleep and sleeping well. I just got really anxious and nervous. For example, I didn’t know that the epidural can give you the shakes and you might feel extremely cold, so the nurse will pile blankets on you. I didn’t know that you’ll bleed for about 4-6 weeks after the labor. I didn’t know that you might have to sit on a pillow for a few days because of how sore you’ll be. Combined with trying to take care of a newborn too? Its bad enough that you have to deal with 9 months of getting out of shape, getting fat, swollen, backaches, leg cramps and being sick to every smell there is in the world.

Now I don’t understand how people can have friends and family in the room with them during labor. Going through the contractions, having random medical personnel poke at you, and right after delivering, the woman’s still recovering — can you imagine how annoying it would be to have these people chatting away like it was nothing?

A friend of mind told me a funny little thing the other day. She said throughout her whole pregnant everyone kept asking "how are you feeling" and "Do you need anything" I get that all the time right now so I understand what she's talking about. Then she delivered her baby and everyone just came in and kept asking "Wheres the baby" and "Hows the baby" She told me she was kind of shocked that she just pushed a baby out and not one person
(other than the hospital staff) asked about how she was. haha she said that's when you realize you are a mommy because its at that moment that everything is about them and you are not in the picture anymore. I have heard alot of people tell me this and I do believe all of them.

I am so ready to have my little one, but why does it have to be so scary. I don't want to hear anyone tell me its not that bad bc for 7 months I have watch a baby story 2 times a day on TLC and it looks pretty bad on there. I cringe when I watch that show, but its something I can't stop watching. Its very interesting to see how different each birth is. I start my birth classes next Thursday and although I am excited to go to the class I am terrified at what I might learn bc that's just one more thing to scare the shit out of me!!

Shannan

Funny picture of the day

I don't think its a disease haha someone doesn't know how to read at this book store!

Is it 40 weeks yet?

I remember when I was about 12 weeks pregnant and I finally stopped having so much nausea and felt more normal. I told everyone that I didnt feel pregnant anymore, which I didnt. I was at that awkward transititioning part of my pregnancy that I know everyone hates! You know what I am talking about, when your old clothes are too tight but maternity clothes are too big. You dont really have a round belly just some chubbiness to your stomach. I did show early, but for some stupid reason I complained that I didnt show early enough. Hmm I guess the hormones really took over my body then bc who complains that they arent big enough??




So now I am 27 weeks pregnant. I feely my baby move every single day. Some days I love it other days I feel like he is digging a tunnel to escape! I am very big and anytime my husband and I go out and see friends or family. I remind them all that I am a miserable, fat, pasty, ready to have this baby pregnant woman!! I dont forget a single complaint thats for sure! I dont want to be the annoying pregnant friend, but its kind of hard when most of your friends are athletic and tan and you have to watch them wear there cute little summer clothes while just that morning you were looking in the plus size section for a swimsuit!!




I want nothing more than to have a healthy baby boy! I want him to be strong and fully developed, BUT I do not want to go past my do date! I am actually dreaming that my Dr says lets induce you early bc this baby is too big! Or he comes out on his own at like 38 or 39 weeks. I know thats horrible of me! I am so tired of being pregnant. The back aches are more frequent and even when I do get a craving I cant even it alot of what I want bc I'm pretty sure theres no room in my belly.

I told my husband to be prepared bc when I am full term we will be doing everything in the book to ge this baby out of me!! The number one thing is lots of sex. I understand I am not very sexy what with my gigantic belly and his son being in there, so I really dont think hes that excited that I will be pouncing on him every chance I get. I will probly have to force it on him, I will do anything to have this baby! Another thing I have heard a hundred times in castrol oil but alot of people tell me including "The Doctors" on tv said that in some cases it could work, but it usually just causes some painful stomach problems and many trips to the bathroom. I am severly afraid of going number 2 in the delivery room so that will be my last hope. I thought I would share the list with all of you! These are some things you can do to help induce labor!

1. Acupressure/Acupuncture - various points can start contractions.
2. Nipple stimulation/breast pump - uses the mother's own oxytocin to stimulate contractions; discontinue if contractions are prolonged or become intense.
3. Castor oil - often mixed with juice or food; this stimulates prostaglandins to contract the uterus (This can have an undesired affect of diarrhea for several hours so use with caution and consult with your doctor or midwife.) F
4. Walking/changing positions frequently - this is one of the least invasive ways to stimulate contractions and can be used during labor if contractions slow down.
5. Herbs - common herbs used are black and blue cohosh or tinctures including these herbs (these are contraindicated for mothers with high blood pressure)
6. Spicy Food - Some mothers say spicy food does the trick possibly because it may also stimulate digestion and thereby increase prostaglandin production to get contractions going.
7. Massage - this is a great way to relax while your massage therapist stimulates trigger points for labor; often when stress hormones are reduced, labor can start more easily.
8. Glass of wine - although there is no evidence that wine stimulates contractions, it can help an anxious mom relax. Bear in mind that any alcohol affects your baby and can be dehydrating. Be sure to take only one glass with dinner and check with your provider before considering this way to start labor. ( I dont think I will be trying the glass of wine haha but everything else seems like good ideas!!)
   
9. Love-making/Intercourse/Orgasm - uses both oxytocin and prostaglandins to stimulate contractions and potentially induce labor. Do not have intercourse if your water has broken.
10. Pineapple is considered to be a labor-inducing food, however there is no research that supports this method beyond women's own stories.

So I guess I wait till 37 weeks comes and this I will be doing everything I can! I have 10 weeks till then and 13 weeks till my due date! I cant wait to meet this little man!

Shannan

My new obsession!

So for sometime now I have been hearing about this book and movie called Twilight. I really had no desire to read it or watch the movie and so I kept my distance from the psychotic obsessed girls that couldn't get enough of it! I love to read but usually stick to biography's just because I love to learn about other peoples lives! So being the bored pregnant woman that I am I decided what the heck I will jump on the bandwagon and try it out who knows I might like this book....







Well not only do I like this book ( or should I say LOVE!!!) I am completely obsessed. I really have an addiction that surpasses any past addiction I may have had!! I can't stop reading this book. Last night I finally had to stop after 3 hours of reading just because my eyes hurt! I even missed So You Think You Can Dance just to keep reading! I don't know why I am so in love with this book. It could be because I have fantasized briefly about falling in love with a vampire. Secretly I wish my husband was a 108 year old blood sucking man. Ok not really, but it is very intriguing to read about. Its also very romantic. I am a total sucker for romance and never have I thought that saying "your my brand of heroine" would be romantic but last night when Edward told Bella that she was his heroine I got very emotional. It could also be bc I am pregnant, my hormones are on the fritz.

So I guess I will spend the rest of my days reading the twilight series and watching the movies. I can't get enough of this vampire romance!




So the reason for this post was to explain to you why I missed writing in my blog yesterday! Tomorrow I will be back with a very funny story. One I am excited to write about!

Shannan

Pregnant Porn Star!

Thursdays are suppose to be my trash talking days where I talk about what craziness is going on in the world of gossip, but I have an issue that I thought I would talk about. Plus I know this will really draw attention to viewers! haha I am not kidding this is a good one.

So I am a very honest person. There's not much that I hide from people. One of the things I choose not to hide is the fact that about a year and 6 months ago I had some breast implants. I had just lost alot of weight and my boobs were suffering. Not too mention I had a hard time fitting them into anything sexy since I suffered from having non identical boobies. My left boob was probably a size bigger than my right boob which made it embarrassing to wear tiny tops without pads. So I went to the magical boob Dr and he turned them into gorgeous identical C-Cup boobies.



So now that I am 27 weeks pregnant I have notice that these gorgeous C-Cup boobies have turned into gigantic porn star boobies that are probably double D's. Now your all probably thinking "Her husband is a lucky man". Your all very wrong. These ginormous porn star boobs would be wonderful if they weren't tender to every touch! Anyone who has experienced pregnancy knows what I am talking about! Also I am scared to even wear a low cut shirt because of how inappropriate it is! It never bothered me before but I don't want to look like a hoochie pregnant momma!!

I read in my baby magazine that my boobs will weigh about 2 pounds each after my pregnancy. So can I just put them on a scale and see how much they weigh? Sounds like something I will have to be doing soon. Not even two years ago I was a little A cup now I am right there behind Dolly Parton.

I guess I should enjoy them while I can, even though I have silicone in there they seem to be agreeing more with the laws of gravity. What goes up must come down right? I guess tomorrow I can talk about the scariest part of my pregnancy so far...My first stretch mark, ugh whats the use in having porn star boobs if you cant even look in the mirror. I definitely wont be in a triple X movie anytime soon!!


Shannan

Funny way to get caught cheating!

While driving to Walmart yesterday to do some much needed grocery shopping I heard what has to be the funniest and most bizarre story of 2009. So I knew I had to share it with everyone. I have known a few cheaters in my day and no matter who the person or the circumstance I think it is wrong no matter what. If your that unhappy in your relationship then leave that person. There is no reason to do it behind someones back and when they person gets caught I get a good little laugh at there expense. (Don't judge me) So when I heard this story of course I completely lost it. I laughed to hard on the way to the story I actually had to stay in my car when I got there just to wipe all the tears off my face!

Ok so this woman from Texas has 11 months old twins. These twins have alot in common, but the one thing they dont share is a father! So I guess this mother whose name is Mia cheated on her partner. He fling that she has resulted in a one-in-a-million double conception!! One twin is her spouse's son and the other twin is fathers by a different man, but she will not say who this man is. Mia became suspicious bc her twins didn't look much alike so she went and had a DNA test and to her surprise they had different daddy's!! I guess this would have had to happen within a 24-48 times period. This woman should have played the lottery she is beating all the odds.

Is this not the craziest story you have ever heard. I mean she was with two different men around the same time period. The man she had slept with must have seen the news. I understand that she doesn't want to contact him, but he is probably like holy crap I slept with that woman around that time. Unless he was just some no name man she picked up in a bar. She is not releasing that sort of information.

One thing that had me laughing so hard was her statement to the press “Out of all the people in America and all the people in the world, this had to happen to me.” So what she meant to say was I can't believe I got caught cheating. Haha, Her boyfriend or spouse whatever he is says he will raise both boys just like they are both his. I guess that is good. I still can't get over how crazy this story is and I am sure it will happen again.

What a way to get caught cheating!

Shannan

The Belly Bandit?

So in my quest to find a way to hide the post-pregnancy belly I came across a device that "claims" to help you get your old belly back sooner than expected. I have to admit I am a sucker for anything that claims to give me an amazing bod without doing alot of work. I will work out after I have my little one but its the first couple weeks I dread. For 6 weeks you can't do much and I don't want to walk around with a flabby belly. Lord knows I will not be wearing my pre-baby jeans home from the hospital. I have gained over 30 pounds during this pregnancy and I wasn't at my best weight to begin with.


So I came across the Belly bandit. It does sound to good to be true. The company says that "The Belly Bandit is an abdominal compression binder designed to help you get your body back to its former fabulousness post childbirth." I have came across some reviews on the belly bandit, not really the greatest reviews but some are very hopeful of the product and even say they have been more confident since childbirth.

The draw back is it is a little pricey. I dont really want to blow $45 on something just to be disappointed. Its a tough decision because I also want to finally fit into my own clothes again and look fabulous and sexy. I definitely don't feel it right now. For years people have been trying different ways to get there old belly back faster. I have heard of people wearing corsets, spanx anything and everything that will tighten there body's. So I guess I will have to decide if I want to try it or not. I have 3 months to make the decision.

I am just curious have you tried the belly bandit or a product like it??


Shannan

Pregnancy Joke of the Day:

My Bucket List

There are so many things I want to do before I die. Some are more important than others. I know that life is short and so many people take it for granted. I love my life and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. There's just a couple things that are very important to me and I know I have to do them before I hit the "Bucket". I will have to wait on some of these, but eventually I know I will accomplish them all!

What's on your bucket list? I am curious to see what others dream of doing before there time is up!

Shannan

Pregnancy Joke of the Day:

What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?

When you see teeth marks.

Dreams of hot dogs and frosty's

I've spent the last four days doing everything I can to resist my intense cravings for hot dogs while wallowing in my own exhaustion on the couch with a sink full of dirty dishes and four loads of laundry sitting on the floor. And isn't that the way it's supposed to be? I mean, c'mon, healthy food and exercise while preggo? Are you kidding me?!

The other day I drove by 7-Eleven and saw a picture of a hot dog and literally had to force myself to keep driving instead of pulling up, running inside, smothering it in mustard and consuming it in two gulps. I don't know what's wrong with me! Oh, wait, yes I do, I'm PREGNANT and that wreaks havoc with my system. I don't usually like frankfurters all that much, but right now a big, juicy dog is pretty much at the forefront of my every waking thought.

It doesn't just stop with the hot dogs either. Last night while sitting on my couch watching 'So You Think you Can Dance' I saw a commercial that almost made me go crazy. It was the Wendy's commercial for there new Frosty-Cino. Now I don't care much for coffee and I definitely don't crave it. But seeing this commercial made me want to run to the closest Wendy's and get the largest Frosty-Cino they made. I told my husband I had to have it. He of course was not going to get me one because it was about 9:30 at night and raining cats and dogs. I thought about that Frosty all night long. Its been a week and I still want one, but I always pass the Wendy's on my way home and never stop. Today just might be the day that I stop and try one. I think I am afraid it will disappoint me because I imagine it to be the most amazing frost cappuccino ever made.

So why do woman get crazy craving while there pregnant? I am not sure, I have always heard whatever you are craving is what your body needs for the baby. I am almost certain that a pregnant woman made that lie up to justify her bizarre cravings and to make herself think its ok to indulge in them. I want to enjoy the last 3 months of my pregnancy and I plan on doing everything I can. If that means eating all the things that I crave then so be it.

What did you crave during your pregnancy? I have heard of some pretty crazy things!

Shannan

Pregnancy Joke of the Day:

What is the most common Pregnancy craving?

For men to be the ones who get pregnant

Thursday Trash Talk

I love gossip and it can be a bad thing. I know that its horrible to get suckered into tabloids and I believe everything I read. I do have fun talking about deep dark secrets of other people. I mean if you choose to have a life that is in the spotlight then you need to be prepared to be photographed and everyone in the world will know your business. So Thursdays our my trash talking days where I will talk about topics going on in the tabloids. So enjoy!

You know, for a while there, Jon and Kate plus 8 on TLC was a fun, lighthearted look at what the Gosselins’ life is like raising a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. The kids were cute and we all sympathized with Jon and Kate struggling to keep the kids cleaned and fed. I’m not exactly sure when it all changed but what used to be an enjoyable little reality show evolved into some twisted money making machine for Jon and Kate to use for their own gain. When things first started out, we saw the family in a modest home with Jon working a 9 to 5 job and Kate staying home to take care of the kids. By season 3 on TLC, we see that Jon no longer works and the family is supported by their numerous speaking engagements, sponsorships and of course their cut off of their reality series. Jon and Kate’s attitude has changed to where they give off this sense of entitlement that has really turned off a lot of viewers. essentially they’ve used their kids to gain a “celebrity type” lifestyle which includes a whole slew of freebies from clothes, meals, trips, vacations, child care to even Jon’s hair transplant!! What’s messed up is that Jon and Kate have no qualms about receiving these at all. In fact, they seem to expect it just because their on TV. It’s pretty sad. And it seems that the little kids are paying the price for all of this.

I watched the new season that aired Monday night and I felt like I was watching something that I shouldn't have been. You know when your a kid and you watch the rated r movies and you know what your watching would get you into some serious trouble, but you keep watching to see what will happen next. It was like that. Jon and Kate were separated almost every time they spoke. They were on there couches alone talking about there marital problems. Kate even said the big "D" word and to be completely honest I think the reason that they were making there problems public on the show was to get more ratings. The ratings for the show were more than any TLC show has ever had. In the whole episode it was mostly Kate and she wasn't as bitchy when Jon was gone. As soon as he was on the show she turned into control freak Kate that we all know and love.

So now that there's problems in paradise its very hard for me to watch. I wouldn't want to watch anyone go through that. Whats fun about watching 8 children see there parents splitting up?? So I guess they did sign up for 40 more episode and Kate might be in them alone. So here are some new names for the show that I might hand over to TLC. I think there are pretty good.

"Jon divorced Kate and left her with 8"

"Jon cheated on Kate at Motel 8"

"Poor Kate alone with 8"

"Jon and Kate set a divorce date"

"Jon and Kate aren't doing so great"

"Jon and Kate split 8"

So will I watch the next episode of Jon and Kate plus 8? Probably, even though I think its horrible what there doing its like a bad accident that you just can't stop staring at.

Shannan

Pregnancy Joke of the Day:

I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after he finishes college.

I have a confession to make...

I despise being pregnant...

When I say this people look at me in disgust and they think " Well she will be a horrible mother". Truth is I am just being honest. I dont think I will ever be that woman that looks back on her pregnancy and talks about how she misses it. If I ever do say that I miss being pregnant then I am lying to everyone and I should be punished for saying so.

First of all I have tried for a very long time to get pregnant and I am so ready to meet the little boy that keeps kicking me every day! So why would I miss walking around with swollen feet that I cant really even see. When woman say that they miss being pregnant I am shocked and I have never wished to rewind my life. That is afterall what people are really meaning. After 9 long months you would think you have had enough of pregnancy!

I am a blimp actually I am beyond a blimp. I dont like saying that I am fat because I understand there is a growing baby inside me. Its very hard to not say that when your thighs are the size of what both of your legs together once were. I looked up the definition of Fat the other day just for fun. Yes I know what It means but the dictionary can be hilarious. The way words are described is fascinating to me.

Fat; (n.)

1. Obesity; corpulence.
3. The best or richest part: living off the fat of the land.
4. Unnecessary excess: "would drain the appropriation's fat without cutting into education's muscle" New York Times.
adj. fat·ter, fat·test
1. Having much or too much fat or flesh; plump or obese.
2. Full of fat or oil; greasy.

I dont like the words obese but the words plump can be used in a nice way. I used to hear that my butt was nice and plump now people just use HUGEEE. "Girl your butt got huge" is what my close friend said to me the other day. Not Huge but HUUUGEEE. I was told by my 7 year old neice that I cant come over and play on here waterslide because I am just to Fat. Kids can be cruel because they are so brutally honest.

Other than being plump I am faced with sleeping challenges, lets face it pregnant woman can hardly drink caffeine let alone take any kind of medicine that relieves sleeping problems. I would love to get a good 8 hours of sleep, but instead I wake up with the worlds worst Charlie horse. Its not even gone yet. I still feel the pain in my calves. Seriously it was that bad.

I do however enjoy feeling him move around and kick. At first it was little on the bizarre side, now its just an amazing feeling and I cherish every second of it. I love going for an ultrasound and seeing how much he has grown and its astonishing to see your little one transform into you and your husband.

So does saying I dont enjoy being pregnant make me a bad mom? I dont think so, I know I will be an amazing mommy. Pregnancy is a long-drawn-out process and you would have to be crazy to not complain at least sometimes. I am a complainer and I have expected that but this girl has to have some kind of fun right?

Shannan

Pregnancy Joke of the Day:

The more pregnant I get,
the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
Cause you’re fatter than they are