So am I afraid of the pain I will have during labor? No I expect it
Am I afraid of being sleep deprived? No pregnancy has gotten me used to that one
Am I overwhelmed by the whole breastfeeding process and terrified I will starve my child? More than you will ever know!!!!
I have always wanted to breastfeed. It's one thing that nobody could talk me out of. Not that alot of people would want to talk me out of it, but there are alot of people in my family that think if they cant handle it maybe I cant. I dont like negativity especially on subject like this. For me its the only option there is. I would do anything that is healthy for my baby and breastfeeding is by far the healthiest choice for baby and me.
I have talked to friends and family about wanting to breastfeed and theres always mixed emotions. ( Which I could care less) I know breastfeeding is not a sure thing and theres always the possibility that you wont be able to go through with it. As I mentioned in earlier posts I have had implants and even though my dr did everything he could to make it so the implants would not interfere with the natural process, you cant always be 100% sure on that! So I am being completely honest when I say I am scared shitless when it comes down to it! I have worried more about this than anything else when it comes to the baby.
I have a list of reasons why I am so scared. The #1 reason being that I am deathly afraid that my little boy wont get enough to eat and I will be starving him! #2 even though I have told people I dont care about the pain (I truly dont I will do it no matter what) I am scared that my nipples will fall off from all the sucking and dryness that I have heard can occur!
Woman love to share there horror stories and I have heard them all. They all think just bc they couldn't handle it then I wont be able to handle it. Like I said when it comes to the health of my child I am no pansy and I will overcome the pain my nips will have to go through.
I have heard tons of stories and I am so tired of it! I try to listen with a smile but you can only fake being happy for so long and my hormones are just too strong to fight. I just recently bought "What to Expect the First Year" it has a chapter on what you can do to prepare yourself for breastfeeding. I read the first 5 pages and decided I didn't need a crash course and it should come naturally. Why you ask? Well the first 5 pages were about " Toughening up your nipples" and " the cons of breastfeeding". I understand there is a chance that my boobs will look like cracked worn out prunes ( that's what I see in my head anyways), but there is no way in hell I am going to scrub my nipples with a hard loofah everyday until they start to bleed! NO WAY! I dont even let my husband play with them in a rough manner.
Its bad enough that my belly will be saggy with stretch marks and my whole body gigantic so why do I want to ruin the last sexy thing I have left! I want my boobs to at least be decent after I breast feed!
I guess I should be too afraid of all this. Even if he doesn't latch on and there is problems I will still pump and he will get the proper nutrients he needs. Also I am so excited that a woman will burn 500 calories each time she breastfeeds for 20 minutes!! I am dying to be skinny again so I will do anything and this is something that benefits both baby and me! You cant beast that. My book says you should be feeding 8-10 times a day so that means I should burn anywhere from 4000 to 5000 calories in one day!! That without any exercise no imagine how many calories I will burn when I start going to the gym again! I am so happy about this! I have heard breastfeeding is the best diet you can be on, but I didn't know it was that good. I need to burn as many calories as I can after he is born!!
Shannan
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